How’s Your Happy?
People often comment to me that I always seem so "happy". And I'm not going to lie, it's true, I'm pretty much wicked happy all the time ... but it's not because my life is always amazing (although it sure feels that way) or because things always go my way (hello, murdered mom). The key for me has been that I've learned that it's not my circumstances that determine my happiness or quality of life - it's my thoughts and my choices.
A Course In Miracles tells us that we're not at the effect of the world and that what's happening "out there" is not the "cause" of my suffering. Our mind is actually "the cause" and the world is simply "the effect" of our own thinking. "It is an outward reflection of an inward condition." So, it's about being vigilant for the quality of our thoughts. It's about taking 100% responsibility for your own happiness. It's about which teacher - ego (fear) or Holy Spirit (Love) - that you're going to choose to help you interpret the world around you.
As you can see from this picture, I was a happy kid. Then some big, scary shit happened and I didn't have the tools yet to navigate it all. I felt victimized by my life and the things that seemed to be happening to me. I suffered for many years - feeling out of control, scared and anxious, to the point that I started to develop severe physical and psychological symptoms of IBS, chronic stress and a touch of the OCD. (Just ask my sweetie, there's a reason why all our can labels face outward.) Ha!
When I was hit with all those overwhelming situations - I took what ACIM calls... "a detour into fear". But I'm happy to report that "I'm Baaaaaack". As LL Cool J says in his famous song "Mama Said Knock You Out... "Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years." Ha! I've actually been back for a while now and while that trip into darkness was a wild one, and at times feckin' brutal - I think in some ways it was also totally necessary and in the end, I'm truly grateful for the experience.
The Course tells us that "peace and happiness is your natural inheritance". So if we're not feeling at peace, if we're not feeling an inner happiness then we have simply chosen the wrong teacher. And good news is - we can always choose again!
That doesn't mean that we'll end up walking around with smiles plastered to our faces - while we silently rage underneath. Hell no! This isn't a fake it till' you make it kind of approach. Those days of sucking it up and stuffing it down are over. You gotta' feel your feelings people! You don't deny them. You don't pretend like everything is "fine" when it isn't.
Don't be weird.
If somebody dies, you let yourself be sad. If you need to cry, you do it. Need some time to grieve, take it. But we also don't want to build a permanent altar to our suffering and start worshipping there. We don't want to make victimization, smallness, fear, separation, blame, shame, or anger a false idol. Been there - done that and I can tell you - it's a feckin' sham. Your relentless "suffering" doesn't prove that you loved more. Nobody is asking you to crawl around on your hands and knees until you're bruised and bloody.
I've heard my teacher Marianne Williamson jokingly say, "Even Jesus was only up on the cross for 3 days. Get down already - we need the wood." Ha!
If you'd like to work together on how to "get your happy" back, please go to the WORK WITH ME page on this website!
I'm currently accepting new 1:1 Mentoring clients into my: Your Story to Your Glory™ + Fearless Flow™ programs (and I only have a few spots open in each), so if you’re really ready to transform, make an investment and do the work… and you’d like to apply for one of my programs - CLICK HERE.
If you know of someone else that might find this helpful - please share and pass this along or make a personal introduction. I'd super appreciate that!
So Much Love,
KK
